For most folks, myself included, the topic of sexual intimacy is a sensitive subject. And as a follower of Jesus Christ, I want to keep the commandments, of which sexual purity is one. When kneeling at the marriage altar, I find it interesting that one moment you and your finance are not married and then next you are now husband and wife. With that change full expression of the love shared is now allowed. Prior to marriage, we are told to save our virtue for our spouse; that the powers of procreation are to only be engaged after lawful marriage.
In our readings this week we are reminded of just how sacred the power of procreation is and how, within the bonds of matrimony, sexual intimacy is a way to not only bring children into the world but to also keep the bonds of matrimony strong. We also learned that fidelity is more than of just a physical nature. True fidelity involves the mind, heart, and body of a person.
We should be friends with our spouse but we may also develop friendships with others outside of our marriage. This is not necessarily a bad thing on its own, however when a friendship creates thoughts and feelings that are not in keeping with the marriage covenants that have been made, then a problem fidelity could exist. Kenneth W. Matheson, a professor at Brigham Young University stated, “Physical infidelity is only one of the many temptations Satan uses to break up families and marriages. Emotional infidelity, which occurs when emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse, is an insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and shatter peace of mind” (p. 3). I have a friend who experienced this exact situation. She became friends with a man she met at school. Her husband was not happy with the friendship but other than complaining, he did not work on building their relationship. So she turned toward her “friend” and eventually left her husband and got a divorce. This couple had been married for at least 20 years and had a Temple marriage. 
How do we prevent infidelity in any form from happening? I would like to share some of the suggestions provided by H. Wallace Goddard in his book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He provides 10 ways to prevent or overcome the temptation of infidelity. I would like to share seven.
- Do not allow the seeds of lust to germinate. Do not look on another woman or man with lust.
- Never make excuses to spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.
- Take responsibility for the messages that you give. You do not have the right to be “cute” or flirty with anyone but your spouse.
- Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone. Push daydreaming of any person but your spouse out of your mind.
- Spend more enjoyable time with your spouse. Find ways to improve your marriage.
- Renew your spiritual efforts. Turn to the Lord in prayer. Ask for strength to put temptation out of your mind.
- Celebrate the sweet gift of companionship. Each of us should rejoice in the sacred gift of spousal trust (p. 87-89).
By applying these suggestions and recommitting ourselves to our spouses and our marriages temptation can be overcome and improvement can be made.
Interestingly, much has been said, even in the scriptures about the importance of marital relations. In Genesis 2: 24 it states, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”. Brent A. Barlow continues this thought by quoting President Spencer W. Kimball, twelfth president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, “Sexuality is a beautiful power given to mankind from God. ‘The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as a God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be “one flesh” was as important as his command to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Quoting Billy Graham, Ensign, May 1974. p. 7.)’ (p. 1).
I have to admit that I have not paid as much attention to this aspect of my marriage as perhaps I should. I think that perhaps both my husband and myself could use to go back to school and learn more about the importance of having a stronger bond through physical expression.
References:
Goddard, H. Wallace, Ph.D. (2007) Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, Powerful Principles with Eternal Results. Fairfax, VA: Meridan Publishing.
Matheson, Kenneth W. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/09/fidelity-in-marriage-its-more-than-you-think?lang=eng.
(748)